07

tori amos song: "some things are
melting now..."
melting
showing the insides
the idea we have and call
true nature of things
in this case
icing more than ice
this thick creamy sugary
thickness
i've been spreading over
myself and my life
in this last (i hope)
phase of late adolescence
(adolescence-come-late)
i'm writing in tiny secritive
font like i did in the
late nineties
my head hurts
i feel slightly feverish
dust is gathered under
my bed and at the
corners of my bedroom

i should say our bed
and our bedroom
(we just had unprotected
sex, right before lunch,
i came inside him).
we didn't leave th house
all day; well i sent him
out to get beer and fanta,
i stayed in and made
leftovers and finished my
book (reading).

our two-year anniversary
is coming in a few
days. and its his birthday
in two days. the house
is a mess. i get these
anal attacks and clean and
tidy and buy plastic
containers but it only
lasts a while and soon
the shit is pilling up
again. the sex is o.k.,
though. better these
days.

i'm letting him top me.
he's getting the hang of
it. overall we're not doing
that bad. problem is
no that bad isn't
good.